Abuse & Violent Behavior

Violence means using force to hurt or control someone, or to break or damage something. Some people get very angry and lose control. They may throw things, punch a wall or hit someone. They may even be sorry afterwards. If you, a family member, or a friend has been slapped, hit or punched, it is time to seek help.

It is important to note that even if you have never been hit you can still have been abused.  Emotional and psychological abuse creates fear in the victim through the abuser’s use of controlling and intimidating behaviors. In these situations someone may be threatening you verbally or treating you in a way that makes you feel embarrassed, devalued, or fearful for your safety.

If you are in an immediate dangerous situation, call 911. If you are not in immediate danger, but you are afraid of being hurt physically or emotionally by a friend or family member, talk about it with someone who will listen, or call one of the numbers listed in this section or the counseling section. It is common to have mixed feelings about someone who is violent towards you. It is important to tell someone and not keep secrets, even if the person promises not to do it again. People who abuse or hurt others need to get help. By telling someone, you begin to take control of the situation and begin to help yourself. 

You may have heard a lot about, or know someone, involved in domestic violence (family or household violence) and think this only occurs between married people or adults who are living together, but it also happens to teens in abusive dating relationships. These relationships can be very difficult to end. Talk with an adult you trust if you have concerns about a dating relationship.

You or someone you love may be in an abusive relationship if:

  • Your partner acts in ways that make you afraid.
  • Your partner makes threats to harm family, pets, friends or you.
  • You find yourself apologizing to yourself or others for your partner’s behavior.
  • You have been hit, kicked, shoved or had things thrown at you by your partner.
  • You partner is extremely jealous and possessive.
  • You make plans/decisions based on how your partner will react.
  • You are treated badly or embarrassed in front of others by your partner.
  • You agree to have sex, even if you are uncomfortable about it.

Seeking Help from Violence

Remember, no one deserves to be physically and emotionally abused. There are other ways to deal with stress, tension and anger than becoming violent and/or abusive. Seek help- you deserve better. See counseling and other resources listed below.

  • Alternatives for Battered Women
    (Information, counseling, & shelter; groups for teens)
    232-7353 (24 hours)
    232-1741 (TTY*)
  • Bivonia Child Advocacy Center
  • Crisis Nursery of Greater Rochester
  • Greece Police Victim Services
  • Monroe County Sheriff’s Office, Victim Assistance
    • Zone A (East):                        753-4389
    • Zone B (Henrietta & South):     753-4403
    • Zone C (West):                       753-4455
  • RPD Family and Victim Services
  • Safe Journey (transition services)
  • Society for the Protection and Care of Children
  • Unity Domestic Violence Education Program
    368-6901 x8990
  • Gates Police Domestic Violence
  • Rape Crisis Service of Planned Parenthood

To officially report child abuse (24 hours):

  • Monroe County Department of Human Services, Child Abuse Hotline
  • New York State Child Abuse and Maltreatment Register

1-800-638-5163 (TTY)

To get information about an Order of Protection or Restraining Order to prevent additional domestic violence among adult family members, call:

  • Legal Aid Society Domestic Violence Program
  • Monroe County District Attorney Domestic Violence Child Abuse Bureau
  • Monroe County Probation Domestic Violence Intake for Family Court
  • NYS Domestic Violence Intensive Intervention Court

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